They say Phoenix Suns coach Alvin Gentry ate some bad deep-fried avocado before tonight's Lakers-Suns game in Los Angeles. The results were not pleasant.
This begs a few questions:
Q: Is there such a thing as good deep-fried avocado?
A: Unknown at this time.
Q: Even if there is, is Alvin Gentry the slimmest person ever to have eaten it?
A: Without a doubt in the fucking world.
Q: Is the man with the bow tie sitting behind Gentry somehow responsible for Gentry's sudden case of bubble guts?
A: I'd like to think so. The problems of the world are so much easier to deal with when they can be blamed on something obvious, like men in bow ties or liberals or Al Davis.
Q: What exactly are bubble guts?
A: How should I know? I'm white. White people who are asking this question should go to Urban Dictionary then drop their newfound knowledge at the next party. Yeah, I give great advice.
Q: Is "ate some bad deep-fried avocado" code for "my team is getting its ass kicked and I have this motivational technique I've been waiting to use all season long."
A: Yes, and that is why Alvin Gentry is a genius and you are not.