Typically, after having been caught by Seagal, the alleged criminals will exclaim, "Holy shit, you're Steven Seagal. My mom loves your movies. Can I get your autograph? She would love it." Then Seagal goes aw shucks and unfortunately doesn't destroy them for the lack of respect due a hero of his stature.
At this point, you may be thinking, what the fuck are you talking about? Here's the sixty second version to help you understand: Steven Seagal is cop. For real. And he has been a cop for the past twenty years. Pretty much the entire time he has been a bad-
Anyhow, as bad-