Lane Kiffin Just Called. What Should I Do?

It was just another ordinary Friday evening. I was trolling the Internet, posting racist comments on YouTube videos like this and this...and, of course, this. Sometimes, I just can't stop myself.

But then the phone rang. It was Lane Kiffin. He wanted to see if my son might be interested in tossing the pigskin for SC...in 2023. You see, my son is five years old. You really have to give Kiffin and his advance scouting credit. While I may have bragged about my kid's arm to friends at barbecues, birthday parties and when watching games on Saturdays...and Sundays, I had no idea word had spread so far. I suppose there is little reason to pop in the backyard DVD at halftime during the Super Bowl now.

You think I am being a braggart? No? That's not it? Oh, you think it's crazy that a coach from an esteemed school such as the University of Southern California would inquire about a little boy just half way through kindergarten? It's far from crazy people. Or have you not read about Kiffin's recruitment Delaware's David Sills? David Sills would be the 13-year-old kid who just committed to USC. You think that's a little nuts? Well, that sentiment isn't shared by all members of the media. Andy Staples of SI.com praised Kiffin's foresight.

David Sills

For those who don't want to read the whole article, here's a taste:

Kiffin's scholarship offer to a 13-year-old seventh grader has turned into a national joke, right down to the obligatory Chris Hansen/Dateline NBC references. It's positively hilarious that Kiffin -- whose just-spell-my-name-right style of attention-grabbing recruiting has earned him a reputation bigger than his 7-6 record as a college head coach -- would promise a scholarship in the class of 2015 to a player who might not shave for three more years.

I'll admit it. I chuckled, too. Until I searched for David Sills on YouTube. Then everything made sense.

Of course it did, Andy. After all, you just about jumped out of your jock the last time Kiffin did this. The last time, you ask? Oh, yeah. There was a last time. And Andy was right there to applaud Kiffin's chicken-hawking then too.

So, how did I handle the call? I told Kiffin he wasn't the first D-1 coach to have reached out to me and that he had better assemble the best faculty boosters SC has to offer if wants my son's and my consideration. I trust Kiffin will come through if his one year at Tennessee was any indication.