Busted: The World Cup Trophy

Think you know drug smuggling? Swallowing condoms packed with heroin? That is so 1990s. Swallowing lambskin condoms packed with heroin? That is so 1970s. Want to know how the cool kids are muling these days, check this story from the AP:

BOGOTA, Colombia — Fans worldwide have fashioned replicas of the World Cup trophy out of everything from papier-mache to plastic. But a lawbreaker in Colombia gets top prize for most original material: cocaine.

Airports anti-drug chief Col. Jose Piedrahita says that Colombian authorities found the unusual statue during a routine security check by anti-drug agents Friday in a mail warehouse at Bogota's international airport.

The 14-inch-high statue was inside a box headed for Madrid, Spain. The statue was painted gold with green stripes on the base.

Piedrahita said Saturday that laboratory tests confirmed the cup was made of 24 pounds of cocaine mixed with acetone or gasoline to make it moldable.

While, one is moved to applaud the innovative techniques employed, there are a few issues:

1. The dealers clearly weren't thinking about the freebasers with their design. Gasoline-infused coke? Richard Pryor was able to light himself on fire using only coke and 151-proof rum. This could've wreaked havoc on the freebase community. And as Tony Montana once said of the cocaine business, "Don't light your fucking customers on fire, mang."


2. The choice of disguise was misguided considering the country of origin. Colombia hasn't made a World Cup since 1998. The team simply hasn't been the same since the shooting of Andres Escobar in 1994. Escobar scored an own goal in the '94 Cup against the host United States and was assassinated in Medellin soon after returning home. Even the last name Escobar couldn't save him. Had the dealers shipped a replica World Cup trophy from Chile, Brazil, Argentina or either of the 'Guays, South American countries that actually qualified for the Cup, it would have been seen as the creation of enthusiastic fans. From Colombia, where they shoot people for playing soccer badly, it can only raise eyebrows.


3. However, the biggest mistake the dealers made is where they were sending the trophy. Spain? WTF? Turn on your TVs, Colombian drug dealers! Everyone knows Diego Maradona is in South Africa. Man, is he going to be pissed.

"Spain?!!!  F-ing Spain??!!"

Turns out the mistake wasn't in the destination, it was in the trophy itself. It should have been shipped to Madrid. However, it wasn't supposed to be a World Cup trophy; it should have been the men's championship trophy for Wimbledon. Man, is Rafael Nadal going to be pissed.

"Wait a second..."

Lego My World Cup

One the best by-products of this year's World Cup has been the Lego animations of various moments of big games. What, you thought I was going to talk about the vuvuzela apps (yes, there's more than one)  for the iPhone?

Here's the US v England (3.5 stars):

England v Germany (2 stars but only because it's in German):

"Nein. Nein. Nein Nein." I don't speak a word of German but even I know in this series of neins the announcer was convincing himself (and no one else) that Lampard didn't score.

And one fan's reaction to the above game (4 stars):

Why is Lampard's disallowed goal such a big deal historically? Note the the poster in the previous video and keep it in mind as you view the following: 

England v West Germany, 1966 (4 stars):

Points awarded for use of black and white as well as the flickering "filmic" effects used in this one. There will be more lego footie, no doubt, and if the referees oblige us, we will have plenty to laugh about.

USA! USA! USA!

I wanted to make sure I had a clip of Landon Donovan's goal in stoppage time against Algeria. After the second disallowed goal in as many games, this one felt pretty damn good for American soccer fans. And, sorry, Jim Rome, you may not care, but many others do. Some prognosticators were wondering if this victory would propel soccer to the forefront of America's sporting consciousness. Jim Rome says only so long as they keep winning. He's right and wrong. The hype will only grow with each victory but the reality is soccer is here. When you see English Premier League results regularly displayed on ESPN's ticker and that channel carrying the Confederations Cup and Champions League games, it is obvious that things have changed. Ten years ago, and this would be six years after the United States hosted the World Cup (which was supposed push soccer to the forefront of America's sporting consciousness) this wasn't happening. Sorry, Romey, people care about soccer, just not the cave dwellers who call into your show.

One more thing, have you seen the ratings for this year's World Cup? According to an ESPN Press Release:

Through Wednesday, June 23 (40 games on ABC, ESPN and ESPN2), the 2010 World Cup is averaging a 1.8 U.S. rating (for the two-hour match window) -- up 40% from 2006 (1.3). Household impressions are up 46% (from 1,389,000 to 2,025,000) and P2+ impressions are up 49% (from 1,789,000 to 2,658,000).

The 2006 games were played in Germany, so it isn't a time zone issue. Sure the England vs. USA match had cache and yesterday's game was do or die, making for riveting viewing, but clearly these numbers aren't result of the circumstances surrounding individual games. More people care now. Will soccer displace American football, baseball or basketball? Hell no. But ESPN's investment in the game should indicate what it thinks its very mainstream audience wants.

And what they want is this. I would've gone YouTube but FIFA, in their blessed marketing ignorance, is pulling down every clip they find...except, of course, the shaky shots made by folks filming their televisions with  handheld camcorders.