Shrek and Donkey

Glen Davis and Nate Robinson give some good post-game press conference:

Not much to add here. These guys clearly enjoyed each other and the moment. Celtics fans have to hope there is more of this in the remaining games in the series. Davis' role is pretty well cemented: energy guy who spazzes out in the post, gets blocked, gets rebound, gets blocked again, then somehow forces the ball through the hoop. Last night, it was mostly just the last part and, as a result, it was his best game of the series.

Nate? He just needs more minutes. Doc has been running Rondo out there like he's T.T. Boy at a porn shoot. Give the man a rest. Nate Robinson adds a level of craziness to the offense that throws the Lakers off. Most significantly, he is a threat from beyond the arc, which forces the Lakers to stretch their defense and opens up the lanes. If Doc can get Nate 15-20 minutes per game going forward, I will feel better about the Celtics' chances of beating the Lakers.

Nate, seizing the moment, has updated his Twitter avatar to reflect the latest Celtics' meme. Clearly, he and Big Baby will be invited to future pressers no matter how well they play. This ain't your daddy's Green Team.

Diff'rent Strokes: Sports Edition

Gary Coleman died today of a brain hemorrhage at the age of 42. The rumors that the Gooch finally got to him are completely unfounded, so stop saying that shit! Coleman was a huge part of the childhood of my generation. And if Twitter is any indication of my generation's tastes (and it is), Coleman's death is rocking a lot of people's worlds. Current trending topics on Twitter as of 1:30 pm PT, May 28 : #garyColeman, Gary Coleman Died, #oilspill, #wheniwasafreshman, Coleman passed away, Todd Bridges, About Gary, fanime, Whachu talkin.

Of the top ten, six are Gary-related topics and it is telling that Todd Bridges, not Dana Plato, is the co-star who's trending with Gary Coleman. Maybe it's because he's still alive. Wait, one second...I was just notified that Conrad Bain is still alive. WTF? He outlived Plato and Coleman? I did not have that in my deadpool.

Aside from goldfish tragedies, the artful dodging of child molesters, the spin-off of Facts of Life, the unfortunately ironic drugs and drinking Willis episodes, one hallmark of Diff'rent Strokes were the number of athletes who guest starred. None appeared in season one, but by season two, when it was obvious NBC had a hit on their hands, the star athletes started appearing regularly on the show. Here is the complete list of athletes who appeared on Diff'rent Strokes (in order of appearance). Hat tip to sitcomsonline.com:

1. Muhammad Ali (Season 2, Episode 1 as himself)
2. Reggie Jackson (Season 2, Episode 10 as himself)
3. Ed "Too Tall" Jones (Season 3, Episode 1 as himself)
4. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Season 5, Episode 5 as the teacher, Mr. Wilkes)
5. Dorothy Hamill (Season 5, Episode 18 as herself)
6. The 1984 Gold-Medal-winning U.S. Men's  Gymnastics team (Season 7, Episode 14 as themselves)
7. Lance Parrish (Season 7, Episode 16 as himself)
8. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Season 8, Episode 7 again as Mr. Wilkes)

 Ali with Arnold and Willis

 Only Kareem appeared twice on the show and he was the only athlete not to appear as himself, instead portraying the tough but thoughtful teacher, Mr. Wilkes. Really though, the writers couldn't come up with another name for this character? Wilkes? As in Kareem's Laker teammate Jamaal Wilkes? Was this to remind viewers that Kareem was a basketball player? Shit, this probably confused some people into thinking it was Jamaal Wilkes portraying himself as a teacher. If you think about Kareem's turn as "Roger Murdock" in Airplane just a few years earlier, this isn't really much of  a stretch.

The athletes were used almost purely along racial lines. Clearly, Ali, Reggie Jackson, Too Tall and Jabbar were there for Willis and Arnold. Black kids just love black athletes!  Dorothy Hamill, while Willis may have wanted to tag some of that, was Dana Plato's vehicle. Plato was a near Olympic-level skater before joining the cast of Diff'rent Strokes and it is clear she made the correct career choice, what with all the success she enjoyed after the show. Lance Parrish was there for annoying white little brother, Sam. You forgot about him didn't you? Well, he pretty much killed the show. He was a real life Scrappy Doo who introduced a doofish cuteness to a show that felt it could no longer lean on a perennially short but now not-quite-so-cute Gary Coleman. Parrish played himself serving as the bench coach on Sam's crappy little league team. The writing was a little soft toward the end of the show's run.

Let's not go out like the show did with Sam polluting the waters. Let's remember the show at it's peak. Like here:

With the Hasselhoff

and here:

Arnold's Got Five on It.

By the way, the show was shot entirely in color. I am not sure why all the good photos of the cast members are in back and white. Oh wait, I just figured it out. Very, very clever 1980s NBC marketing team.

Jerry and I Are Back Together!

It worked! My complaining about the Rem-Dawg dumping me on Twitter won him back. If you look at my Twitter account--click on the black box over there on the right--and view my followers, you will see one Jerry_Remy. He may have been a kind of average journeyman second baseman when I was a kid but he is one hell of a man now. Yup, it's TLF. I am officially a resident of his virtual Barnstable.

Sigh.

Don't believe the rumor that the only reason Jerry unfollowed me was an automated script utilized by his Twitter account. That is I was dumped because I didn't follow him within the prescribed time after he followed me. I didn't mention that I didn't follow Jerry on Twitter? Oh. Well, a girl loves to be chased. And I'm no slut. Anyhow, so it has nothing to do with the fact that I followed Jerry yesterday and he auto-reciprocated. Love doesn't work like that!

Jerry Remy Dumped Me

For a single, glorious day (May 24, 2010) Jerry Remy (@Jerry_Remy) followed me on Twitter. I wish I could claim this was a special privilege, shared only by the elect, but a quick inspection of the RemDawg's Twitter page reveals that as of 4:39 pm PT on May 25, 2010, he follows 46,167 Tweeps. That's about the same as the entire city of Barnstable. Have you been to Barnstable? Beautiful. Biggest city on Cape Cod. Nice shops. God's people live there. Great place to score drugs before you head off to the Vinyard. Bars are easy on the fake IDs. And yet, I am not good enough to be a member of Jerry Remy's virtual Barnstable.

Upon reflection, I think the reason I was "unfollowed" was this innocent tweet posted on, yes, May 24:

"The 4th place Sox are up 6-1 over the Rays and have won 4 of 5. Sox fans can soon return to being the cocky, entitled bunch everyone loves."

It was a bit of a jab at the sea of Sullies who invade every park the Red Sox visit. I know this bunch. I am one. However, I like to think I don't cross the line enough to end up like this guy:

"I still say Philly sucks."

By the way, I found Lippy on first page of Google Images when I entered "drunk Red Sox fan." Yeah, his family is proud. Regardless of how much this bespectacled douche with his too-hot-for-him girlfriend deserved it--and, man, just wearing a tweed jacket over a sweatshirt is pretty damned deserving--I will stand by my fellow Sox fans. Yes, we are loud. Yes, we are entitled. Yes, you want to punch us. But we aren't going anywhere. Unless the Sox start losing every year, then the bandwagon, Fitzie-come-latelys will jump all over the Bruins or Patriots not understanding that suffering is essential to the art of being a Red Sox fan. To them, being a Sox fan consists of pounding Sam Adams, screaming "Jetah's a fuckin' fag," and trying to hump the local water buffalo found at the Cask n' Flagon.

After grazing on marsh grass, the buffalo enjoy a good drink.

Wait, Jerry, this was supposed to be an apology. Really. I love the Sox...and most of their fans. Just follow me on Twitter.