Conference Expansion

The traditional conferences of the NCAA are breaking down. Both the Pac-10 and the Big Ten are talking expansion and much of it largely at the expense of the Big 12, which in a few weeks won't be able to call itself that any longer. Dan Wetzel of Yahoo Sports, and a fellow UMass alum, wrote a scathing write-up on expansion and focused, in particular, on Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe and his lack of skills, intelligence, foresight, and penis. He rips him good.

The long and short of it is the Big Ten and the Pac-10 are looking to form a pair of super conferences and are actively pillaging top teams from other conferences. Recently, the battle has grown even more epic in scale. The Big Ten have reported sewn up agreements not only with top teams from the ACC and Big East but have reached north and attracted the Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Edmonton Eskimos from the CFL. The Winnipeg Blue Bombers are reportedly holding out for more money, somehow not realizing that they are in fact from Winnipeg. With that kind of aggressive marketing by Big Ten commissioner, Jim Delany, Larry Scott of the Pac-10 had to respond.

Scott considered going radical, ignoring the geographical logic of his historic conference and inviting Duke and Florida State to the Pac-10. Take that, Delany! But Scott went much bigger. Why settle for Stanford East and another school with ridiculously hot fans and ridiculously low SATs when you already have Arizona State? Larry Scott has gone intergalactic. Battlestar InterGalactica to be exact. That's right kids, he has invited the Blue and Gold teams from BSG's (the cool kids call it BSG) Triad league to join the Pac-10.

Starbuck and Apollo throwing down at Pauley Pavilion? Boomer and random mustache dude getting run out of the gym at Maples? Picture it because it's gonna happen. Of course, these teams will enjoy a distinct home court advantage as most players in the Pac-10 just haven't trained for the rigors of Triad and space travel. Insiders have revealed to me that Lane Kiffin has already been in touch with Baltar about getting a few Cylons to visit the USC campus. It's unclear if there have been any violations. But as it is with most NCAA violations, the coach will move on to next job, leaving the kids he recruited and their families behind to suffer. I almost feel sorry for Baltar.

 After years in space with only Cylons to keep him company, Baltar likes him some co-ed.